Happy Valentine's Day!

It doesn't matter whether you see it as a romantic reason to get cosy with the object of your affections or a piece of commercialised trash designed to fleece couples whilst flipping the bird at singletons – we can all use this day as an excuse to practice a little self-love!

And to that end, I've got some freebies and bargains to help get you all in the mood!

Scroll down past the beckoning grey eyes of the bed-warming brunette with the bangin' boobs for all the details...

Your free medium story

A 100% true tale of mutual masturbation

This one time in my mid-twenties while I was slacking in my bedroom, my normally straight-laced housemate knocked on my door and asked me if I had any pornography she could watch. This is the true story of what happened next!

It's behind a paywall for everyone else but you can access it for free using this friends link.

'Final Copulation' is only 0.99!

Limited time only!!

I know I said I'd only do this if I got into the finals of the Golden Pigtail Awards but it turns out that news would have come too late to meet my newsletter deadline, so I'm treating you all regardless (and hoping I made the cut!).

Imagine the Final Destination films but instead of fate engineering elaborate ways to bump people off, it's creating convoluted ways to get people to bump uglies!

I had so much fun writing this and I think an early 3 star review on Amazon from someone not expecting a smut title has put some punters off - but do give it a try. Here's a quick excerpt:

Fred was close to jerking himself off to climax the second Nancy left the wet room. In hindsight, that’s exactly what he should have done but the thought of him leaving even the smallest globule of cum for someone to discover later was too big a risk to fathom. He would retire to his room and knock one out there, the thought of Nancy’s naked body – her tits grinding into him as she jerked him off – still fresh in his memory.

Unfortunately, Nancy had taken the only towel in the room so he had to creep out completely naked and still dripping wet. He gingerly made his way through the kitchen, cupping his swollen genitals and terrified that his mom or dad would return at an inopportune time. Thankfully he had total privacy as he sneaked towards and up the stairs. But the upstairs window was going to be a problem. It was huge and overlooked the street outside – a real statement piece, albeit rather unhelpful when wandering around in a state of undress.

Fred eyed his bedroom at the end of the corridor. Knowing his luck, Nancy would poke her head out of Connor’s room as he went past too. Not that that was any great concern; she had already seen enough of him that there was no longer anything to be left to the imagination. But any passers by outside? He didn’t particularly want them to see him walking naked, nursing an erection in the cold light of day. So, he decided to make a run for it. Even if someone was walking past and happened to look up at the exact moment he was bolting for his room, they wouldn’t have a chance to see much if he was traveling at speed.

And traveling at speed he certainly was, his erection doing little to slow down his sprint as he bolted down the corridor. But Nancy hadn’t been dry when she made her way to her room; and the wooden floor had hidden patches of slick. When Fred stepped in a small puddle he lost grip almost immediately but his momentum sent him hurtling off at an angle towards the sides of the corridor. Towards his older brother’s room.

He tried to lessen the impact by holding his hands up but instead of breaking his tumble, the door flew open and his unabated momentum carried his body further forward. He had literally milliseconds to comprehend the sight that greeted him – his sister-in-law bending over on her bed, face in her pillow, ass in the air and swollen pussy splayed before him. The more he tried to reverse his inertia, the more his course seemed to be locked in – the inevitable target of his ceaseless erection glistening before him. Nancy barely had a chance to free her head from the warm confines of the pillow before she felt the unmistakable sensation of hard, hot cock thrusting into her unctuous cunt.

They cried out simultaneously, both trying to process the dual sensations of utter shock and carnal gratification. Fred had ploughed into her with such force that he was buried up to the hilt, a gush of silk forced from Nancy’s tight but accommodating snatch and coating his balls. Nancy’s position was unwittingly perfect; the ideal height for Fred to penetrate her from a standing position. They froze both unsure what to do but both also happy that Nancy’s warm and welcoming cunt had received such a fulsome guest.

Read the whole sordid tale for only 0.99 here. LIMITED TIME ONLY!

And – assuming I made the finals – don't forget to vote for the title in the 'Tickler Award for Parody/Comedy Erotica' section of the 2022 Golden Pigtails. If you voted in the semis you can still add your vote to help me in the final round! (You'll need to vote in all the categories but can click on 'Skip this Category' for all of them except mine...)

Thanks to those who did the survey

...and congratulations to the competition winner!!

Well, I now know a little more about (some of) you! And though it was a modest sample I'm already looking to get more age-gap scenarios and BDSM into my forthcoming tales. If that's not what you want from my tales then there's still time to offer your opinion...

Take the survey

What it won't get you is a chance to win some bespoke smut because that prize has been claimed by lucky winner KRISTI ALEMAN who has already submitted her brief and has directed me to write a filthy tale about a normally reserved husband getting a little more demanding on a dirty weekend away. That will hopefully premier on Medium next month!

Pick a fantasy...

My growing library of smut has situations and scenarios to suit all kinks. So if there's something below that you haven't yet sampled, why not spend the equivalent of a decent coffee and get yourself tingly in all the right places!

A Valentine freebie collection!

I don't usually feature one of these in my mid-month newsletters but what the hey - I love you that much 😚

As always, this collection may feature plenty of titles you've sampled before but there's always a new author in there somewhere – or maybe something you just didn't notice before? And when they're 100% free there's no excuse not to give something a try...

More to cum next month!

I've got a bit more work to do on my next book until it's ready, so March may be my first month in a while where I don't have a new release for you. But I'll try to compensate with some tempting deals and offers!!

Until then... stay kinky x

Hi! I'm Jack Hawkland

Mid month bargains with The Horn!